Everyone's a loser
by Just being Sirius
Summary: Matthew gets drunk at a party, and ends up in the arms of a certain Prussian. But how will his homophobic mother react? Rated T for now, may be changed later. Possibility of angst in future chapters. Human names used.
1. In between worlds

**This was written for the 120 Phrases Challenge (.net/topic/44309/38720016/1/), which is a Harry Potter challenge. I decided to try it, but for Hetalia instead ^.^**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>As they kissed, Matthew felt like he was in a whole new world. Or, rather, <em>between<em> two worlds.

On one hand, he was in a world of complete paradise. He was loved in this world, he was recognised. No one forgot him, and no one confused him for his brother, Alfred. It was utter ecstasy, and full of maple syrup waterfalls.

However, on the other hand, it was all wrong. He was doing something he was taught was wrong. He was doing something that was against what he had believed against his whole lives. He was doing something that would enrage his homophobic mother, and force his disapproving father to disown him. This world was empty, and dark. It was cold, and sad, where as the other world had been happy and warm. It was a world that his parents had threatened that he would go to, if he even thought about another boy in a sexual way.

Yet, despite the two completely different worlds playing tug-of-war with him, Matthew wrapped his arms around the drunken, albino Prussian, who was moaning softly into his mouth.


	2. Love

**I should just mention: I don't own Hetalia :(**

**P.S. the location will make sense in about three chapters ^.^**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Matthew had never understood love. His parents claimed to be in love, but they fought, insulted, and hated each other too much to be in love.<p>

Alfred had often claimed to love his girlfriends, but they never lasted more than a week.

Matthew had read about love, and seen it on the telly, but it was either one-sided, or didn't last long.

Either way, Matthew had never understood the word.

Yet, as he woke up, half-dressed, in Gilbert's arms, he felt light, happy, and _in love._ He wasn't bothered about the fact that the Prussian had been drunk the previous night, and would either have forgotten about what had happened, or had been totally under the influence of alcohol, and hadn't been thinking straight.

The Canadian chuckled quietly to himself as he thought that. Neither of them had been thinking straight, obviously. Matthew knew that he had been thinking _gay._ Screw what his parents thought, Matthew was in love with Gilbert. He had been for 5 months, but now he admitted it, albeit, only to himself, but even that was an improvement.

He looked round the room he had been sleeping in. He was on the floor of one of the Vargas bathrooms. The floor was tiled, and Matthew shivered slightly. He made to move and retrieve his clothes, but a low moan escaped the Prussian lips, so Matthew stayed still, wearing only his boxers and socks.


	3. Sunset

**Thank you to GothicKitty1313 and AwkwardSquido for being awesome and reviewing!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Matthew had avoided his family all day. He had visited the house, to let them know he had returned, before leaving again. He wasn't in the mood to have his happy feeling ruined by his parents.<p>

Matthew spent most of the day at work in a local cafe. He was the chef during the holidays, and as the last day of school for that year had been the previous day, the cafe was crowded.

The cafe was named _Der schicke__Café_, which was German for _The Awesome Cafe_. It was owned by the Beilschmidt brothers, but only the younger of the two – Ludwig – actually worked there.

Except for Ludwig and Matthew, there was only one other employee at the cafe. Feliciano Vargas was the chatty waiter. No one seemed to mind when the orders were wrong. Instead, they would chuckle, and comment on how adorable they found the little Italian.

Matthew was flipping pancakes in the kitchen. It was the last order, and once the pancakes were done, Matthew would head home. Ludwig was talking to someone in German, and Feli hadn't turned up all day. Matthew slid the last pancake onto the plate, and turned in surprise as he heard his name being mentioned. It was rare to hear his name in conversation. No one remembered who he was. He walked through the little doorway that separated the kitchen from the rest of the cafe, carrying the plate piled high with pancakes. He placed the food on the counter next to his boss, and almost took a step back in shock, when he saw who the blonde was talking to. _Gilbert_.

"Du verbrachte die Nacht mit dem Bruder von Alfred?" Ludwig frowned.

"Ja, und ich habe mich nur gefragt, wenn ich könnte- Hey! Birdie! I was just talking about you!" The albino switched back to English as he noticed Matthew. Ludwig turned, and jumped at the sight of the Canadian stood next to him.

"Ah. Matthew. I didn't see you there. Is this it?" The tall blonde asked, picking the plate off the counter. He walked around the counter, and placed it on the only occupied table. "Enjoy." He smiled. It was a stiff smile, but still a smile.

"Great! Now Birdie's done, we can go! See ya, West!"Gilbert grabbed Matthew's arm, and pulled him out of the cafe.

"Where are we going?" The Canadian asked, wearily.

"To watch the sunset, of course!" Was the cheery reply.

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><p><strong>Now, Prussia has some (awesome!) translations for you!<strong>

**Prussia: ****_Du verbrachte die Nacht mit dem Bruder von Alfred? _means _You spent the night with the brother of Alfred? _And _Ja, und ich habe mich nur gefragt, wenn ich könnte- _means _Yes, and I was just wondering if I could-_**

**Of course, JbS isn't awesome enough to understand German, so I awesomely stepped in and helped her!**

**Me: That's quite enough from you! And now, Canada, your poem?**

**Can: Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**JbS doesn't own Hetalia,**

**So please please don't sue, eh?**


	4. Deep

**An awesome thanks to the awesome Sasha and Muffins-and-anime for their awesome reviews!**

**Sasha, because I can't PM you because you didn't sign in, all I can say is that is to be revealed later ;)**

**I can't update tomorrow, or most Wednesdays, so this is all you have until Thursday :) Enjoy!**

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><p>In the end, Gilbert and Matthew never managed to watch the sunset together. Matthew's mother had made sure of it.<p>

"MATTHEW JONES!" She had yelled, the minute they entered the house. "HOW DARE YOU SLEEP WITH A BOY? AFTER EVERYTHING I TAUGHT YOU! ARE YOU TRYING TO SHAME US?"

Matthew cringed. He hated it when people shouted, and having his mother mere inches from his face, spitting on him and yelling at him was definitely not the best thing that had happened to him.

His mother had driven past the two boys walking towards the cliffs above the beach. She had stopped the car, and told Matthew it was 'time for tea'. Matthew knew this was a lie. Alfred and he had been told they could get their own tea since they were 12, 5 years ago.

His mother had been quiet on the journey back, her knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel with more grip than necessary. Matthew knew that his mother knew, he wasn't sure how.

"WELL? I WANT AN ANSWER, YOUNG MAN, OR I'M GROUNDING YOU FOR A YEAR!" Matthew knew she wasn't making an empty threat.

"I... I mean WE... had too much to drink. Yeah, I didn't realise what I was doing, and he looked so much like a girl!"

His mother snorted, and slapped her son's cheek. "Get out." Her voice had dropped. She was seriously angry. Matthew nodded, and bolted out of the door. Two minutes later, clothes and other belongings flew out of Matthew's window. He scrambled to collect them, and place them in the trunk which had hit him on the head as it fell. He was unable to save his laptop, however, and it landed with a sickening crunch, breaking on impact.


	5. Seeking Solace

**An AWESOME thanks to GothicKitty1313 (twice, one per review), AwkwardSquido, Sasha and HitsuKarin-sama for reviewing! ^.^**

**Sasha, what if Matthew doesn't want to go to Gilbert? ;) And Matthew's mum is a ***** DX but you'll find out all that later :) (I appreciate your questions, it tells me what I need to include in future chapters ^.^)**

**Dear people who want a happy ending: Just wait and see ;)**

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><p>The sun had now set, and Matthew had nowhere to stay for the night. Or, in fact, for any period of time. He considered finding Gilbert's house, and asking if he could rest there, but immediately pushed that thought away. He didn't want Gilbert to think him persistent.<br>Instead, the Canadian found himself knocking on the door of Francis Bonnefoy, his cousin.  
>"Matthieu!" The Frenchman cried with delight.<br>"Oh, uh, hi, Francis. I was wondering if I could stay the night, eh?"  
>"Of course, mon cher!"<br>"Uh... thanks..."  
>Matthew stepped in the house with his trunk. Francis's house was large and elegant. The last time Matthew had been there was when he was 5, and he had been tugged out of the house after Francis came out in front of everyone. The house was empty of people usually, as Francis's parents had died when he was young, and the teen spent his time out with his friends, rather than cooped up.<br>"You like, mon cher?"  
>"It certainly is large, eh?"<br>Francis grinned, and shut the door. His face changed almost immediately. His happy, carefree, pervy look was replaced with that of worry. It was a look that only Matthew knew of, and only saw when his older cousin was concerned about him.  
>"Why are you here, Matthieu? What about your mère?"<br>"Oh. I can go if you want..." Matthew said, looking at the floor.  
>"Non! That is not what I meant, mon cher! I was just wondering if your mother knows."<br>"Know what?" Panic rose in the Canadian's chest. He wondered how his cousin knew about what had happened on the floor of a bathroom at the Vargas house-party. Then he remembered that Gilbert and Francis (and some Spanish guy called Antonio) were friends. Of course Francis knew.  
>"That you are here, imbecile! She does not like me, non?"<br>"Oh. That. Well, she sorta kicked me out of the house. You were the first house I thought of."  
>"Matthieu?"<br>"Yeah?"  
>"Are you gay?"<br>"I came here to seek solace and shelter, not to be questioned!"  
>"Ahhh! So you are!"<br>"Arrrghhh! Francis, I'm your cousin! Stop trying to undress me!" Matthew said, backing away from his pervert cousin, who was trying to grab the front of his shirt.

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><p><strong>Pervy Francis for the win! And speaking of Francis, here are a few more translations for you:<strong>

**_Matthieu_ - Matthew**

_**Mon cher - **_**My dear**

_**Mère - **_**Mother**

_**Imbecile - **_**Silly**

_**Non -**_** No**

**So I would have put more French in, but I couldn't be bothered DX**


	6. Break Away

**This one was hard DX**

**OMG just watched Harry Potter DH2 XD Who else has seen it? :3 (That's why I haven't updated earlier)**

**HitsuKarin-sama, Not logged in at the moment, AwkwardSquido and Sasha are all awesome people for reviewing ^.^**

**Not logged in at the moment: This is a short chapter... sorry DX but I'm going to try and make them longer towards the end :/**

**Sasha: Of course I'm going to have more Francis, and have Arthur! And I find your questions very helpful - it tells me what to include in future chapters ^.^**

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><p>Matthew stayed with Francis for a month. He spent his time in his room, staring at Francis's computer screen.<br>Francis was starting to worry about his little cousin. The younger had forced the elder not to tell anyone where the Canadian was, and spend all the time on Facebook.  
>For Matthew, the days dragged on, but the month flew. He read books online, he avoided people's demands to tell them where he was. He wasn't sure why he wanted to be alone, but it was defiantly going to be a clean break.<br>**  
><strong>


	7. Eden

**An awesome thanks to GothicKitty1313, AwkwardSquido and Sasha for reviewing ^.^ You guys seem to be my regulars :)**

**AwkwardSquido: We'll see him soon ;)**

**Sasha: I might get rid of the clean break thing... I'm sorta confused as to why I put it there... maybe it's a clean break from his mum?**

**So, replies over, can you guys all do me a favour? On my profile, there is a poll, asking which character I should introduce in chapter 44. It may seem a while off, but the rate that I'm writing this at, it will be only a week before I've got to 44. Can you please vote on that poll? Thanks ^.^**

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><p>Every night, Matthew would dream about his night with Gilbert. He would remember how he tasted, how he moaned lightly, how his tongue felt against his skin. He would remember how the Prussian looked when he was asleep, and how his eyes fluttered open slowly. He remembered the cocky smile he had received from the albino, when the latter noticed him next to him. But most of all, Matthew would remember the exact words that had been said to him that morning.<br>"You're Alfred's brother, right? West's cook at our cafe? Awesome!"  
>The Canadian had blushed at this. No one had called him awesome before. He was lucky if people realised that he was Alfred's brother, rather than the happy-go-lucky American himself. It had been the first time the two of them had talked whilst sober.<br>The memories were like heaven to Matthew.


	8. Innocence

**No reviews, huh? Was the last chapter really that bad? :O *puppy eyes***

**Anyway, I didn't like the last chapter - or this chapter - than much, either :/ But, they have to be done, and the next chapter should be better ^.^**

**Remember the poll on my profile, please! ^.^**

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><p>Innocence was Matthew's middle name. Well, technically he didn't have a middle name, but he figured if he did, it probably would be Innocence.<br>He looked innocent. Well, that was what Gilbert had told him on the way to watch the sunset.  
>However, FaceBook told a different story. The Hugarian girl - Eliza something-or-other - had tagged him and Gilbert in numberous photos, most of which were rather mature. And most of which had plenty of likes and comments. Matthew had paled as he realised that his mother would have seen them.<br>**  
><strong>


	9. Drive

**An awesome thanks to Sasha (who reviewed twice, one for this chapter and last), i heart manga 89, ThePirateMage and JHO14 for reviewing ^.^**

**Sasha, I'm answering your questions in the next chapter ^.^**

**i heart manga 89: same! :3**

**Ok, so this chapter's longer, and we get some action going! :D **

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><p>Francis became fed up of his cousin staying in his rooms, only coming down for meals. He had, of course, seen the photographs that Elizabeth had posted on FaceBook, and Matthew's repeated requests to have them removed. The Frenchman was proud of his cousin. He knew that it wasn't going to have been long before the Canadian admitted his sexuality.<br>Therefore, the elder of the two came up with a plan.

"Why am I in your car?"  
>"Because we're going for a drive, mon cher."<br>"Would you stop calling me that?"  
>"When you stop mooching around my house."<br>"But I'm not in your house!"  
>"Only because you're in my car."<br>"Why am I in your car?"  
>"Because we are going for a drive, mon cher."<br>"I told you to stop calling me that!"  
>"Sorry, Matthieu. Ah, we are here."<br>"Where?" Matthew looked out of the window next to him. They were parked outside a house, a house which was unfamiliar to the Canadian.  
>"Ah, Luddy!" Francis called out. There was a blonde man stood in the doorway of the house. He walked down to the car.<br>"Ah. Guten Morgen, Francis. Have you seen Feli?"  
>"Felicinio? Ah, je regrette, non. Have you tried calling him?"<br>"Ja. His brother - Lovinio - picked up."  
>"Ah, I am sorry. Is Gilbert in?"<br>Matthew held his breath as the two talked. Knowing Francis, he would let something slip to Ludwig.  
>"Yes, why?"<br>"Matthieu here is dying to see him." Francis climbed out of the car, an motioned for Matthew to do the same. The Canadian scowled, but did so anyway.  
>"Matthew? Oh, yes, you. I forgot about you. Sorry. Where have you been?"<br>Matthew opened his mouth to reply, but the Frenchman interrupted. "Poor Matthieu has been rather love-struck, mon ami. This is why we need to see Gilbert."  
>"He's in his room. You know which one that is, Ja?"<br>"Oui. The basement?"  
>"Ja. Guten Tag." And with that, the German climbed into his own car, and drove off.<br>Matthew glared at Francis. "You idiot! Why did you tell him that?"  
>"It's true, non? Anyway, time to go to Gilbert's lair."<p>

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><p><strong>Ok, so because I'm rubbish at languages, I'm asking Francis and Gilbert to translate for me:<strong>

**Francis: _Mon cher_ - my dear**

_**Matthieu**_** -Matthew**

_**Je regrette **_**- I'm sorry**

**_Non_ - no**

_**Mon ami -**_** my friend**

_**Oui**_** - yes**

**Prussia: Now for some German!**

_**Guten Morgen -**_** Good morning**

**_Ja_ - yes**

**_Guten Tag_ - good day**


	10. Breathe Again

**An awesome thanks to Cygrus, De-van, JHO14, Sealand-desuyo and Sasha for reviewing :3**

**JHO14: Yeah, there's fluff :3 which sucks cause the chapter I'm currently writing has the theme of "Insanity", and this is so light and happy, it's a hard theme to do :/**

**Sealand-desuyo - I will figure that out now! ^.^**

**Sasha, you didn't give me any questions :( s I'm crying now /s It's a shame, because the questions really helped ;)**

**Sorry about the room descriptions in this chapter, I sorta got carried away :P I'll probably change it in the future**

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><p>Francis strode through the large house, his hand still gripping Matthew's wrist. The basement was quickly located, and the Frenchman knocked loudly on the door.<br>"Uh! West! I said go away!"  
>Francis giggled slightly. "Ohonhonhon, mon ami! Your frère has gone looking for little Feli!"<br>"Mein Gott, Francis! Can't you understand the sound of a hangover when you hear one? And I don't want to meet one of your silly little friends!" the Prussian slammed open the door, and glared at Francis.  
>"I brought someone!"<br>Gilbert looked at the person stood half-behind the Frenchman, and his mouth made a perfect 'o'.

"Hallo, M-Matthew!"

"Bonjour, Gilbert!" Matthew felt a blush rise to his cheeks as his tongue slipped into French, as it always did when he was nervous.

"Do you want to come in?" The albino gestured into his room. Matthew smiled, and stepped through the doorway. Francis made to follow, but the Prussian raised his hand. "Nein. Not you."

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><p>Matthew looked around the basement room. There was a mattress for two on the floor, covered in blankets and a duvet. On the other side of the room, was a messy desk, and a large cage. Next to the desk, was a large wardrobe, and a couple of bookshelves. Overall, the room was very dull and depressing.<p>

"Not what you were expecting, huh?" Gilbert stood behind Matthew, and placed his hand on the Canadian's shoulder.

"Uh..." Matthew squeaked, and the albino chuckled.

"Come through here." He said, leading the blonde to a door, which was half concealed by the birdcage. He opened the door, and pushed the two of them through.

Matthew gasped as he saw the inside of the room. It was black and white, and very modern. There was a disco ball above their heads, which reflected the light from multicoloured stage lights, which were in each corner of the room. In the centre of the room, was a king-sized bed, which had a duvet with the Prussian flag on it. It was on this that Gilbert was sat on now.

"Is this better?" He asked, winking. Matthew blushed, and sat down next to him. Gilbert placed one hand on the Canadian's cheek, and turned Matthew's head so he was looking straight into the Prussian's red eyes. Simultaneously, the two of them lent in, and their lips met in a soft kiss. Matthew never wanted to breathe again, if it meant he could stay like this forever.

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><p><strong><em>Mon ami<em> - My friend**

**_Frère_ - Brother**

**_Mein Gott_ - My God**

**_Hallo_ - Hello**

**_Bonjour_ - Hello/Good day**

**_Nein_ - No**


	11. Memory

**Thank you to my awesome reviewers, who are: De-van, JHO14, Cygrus and Sasha**

**I can't be bothered to reply to anyone's reviews, I might do in the next chapter (sorry!) *feels mean for not replying***

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><p>"Did you see the photos?"<p>

"On FaceBook?"

"Ja."

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"I reckon I look pretty awesome in them!" The albino grinned his cocky grin, and Matthew blushed. "Hey, wanna get some lunch? I mean, I'm starving! I must warn you though; West never lets me cook. He's afraid I'm going to blow up the house. We may have to eat out."

"I... I can cook you something?" Matthew offered

"Are you sure? I mean, I know you can cook, West's been complaining that his customers don't like his cooking as much as yours, but do you really want to cook for me?"

"I... I don't have to, if you don't want me to..."

"I'd love you to!"

Matthew smiled. "Then lead the way to the kitchen!"

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><p>"And you're saying that you cooked this from memory?" Gilbert asked, looking at the pile of pancakes on his plate. "That's incredible!"<p>

"Gilbo, shut up and eat already." Francis said, starting on his 5th. "Great job, Matthieu!"

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><p><em><strong>Ja - <strong>_**Yes**

_**Matthieu**_** - Matthew**


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